Happy Monday, Beautiful People! Today I am going to be talking about relationships as it relates to mental health. Many people do not want to admit that mental health issues may be negatively impacting their relationships. But today, I’m going to challenge you to remove your mask and go beyond the veil.

First, let’s start by making it clear that individuals who suffer from mental health are not intentionally trying to make life difficult for others. We often become impatient with and push away those in our families or friends’ circles that display behavior that we cannot explain. Pushing them away, however, does not encourage the behavior to stop. If anything it encourages the behavior to continue or causes the individual to become increasingly frustrated and feel rejected.

I’ve been a mental health and relationship expert for many years. As such, I know that sometimes when someone musters up the strength to state that they are depressed, anxious, suicidal, etc. they are seen as looking for attention and only wanting to manipulate those they have some sort of relationship with. Other times individuals who are suffering will not verbalize their struggles because they are made to feel like they will embarrass their significant other, children, extended family and friends. But we have to understand that mental illness that goes unchecked and untreated will only serve to further damage the individual while deteriorating the relationships they hold dear.

But let me also say this, if you are reading this, you are suffering, and you are in a relationship where you cannot be honest about that- it’s time to reassess that relationship! Too many people have died to their purpose and even their happiness because they have had to “save face” in their relationships. When you are honest about the mental illness, trauma, or challenges taking place in your relationships you are saving yourself. Stop saving face for the public. When you do that, you can lose yourself, your family, your friends and your relationship.

Going beyond the veil means tearing down every mask that wants to cover up the truth. It means ignoring the opinions of others and doing what’s best for you and your relationship. It means being well by any means necessary. Covering up your struggles or the struggles of those you are in a relationship with is a threat to your overall life! There is no way to get healthy by ignoring the situation at hand.

I often wonder how many relationships could have been salvaged if one or all parties would have ignored the voices from outside and sought to silence the voices coming from within. You have to make up your mind to fight for what you want and for what you know is yours. Veils are meant to hide. They hide pain and anguish, but they never reveal truth and peace. If in this life you don’t have peace, then truly you have nothing. Peace of mind is priceless, and it can only be gained by those who dare to strip down to the naked truth and deal with it. Time out for saving face. Instead, save yourself.

Be well,

Dr. Mya